There are umpteen moments when arguments and heated conversations can be observed be it on roadside, offices, colonies or wherever. Those involved in the arguments often feel that the argument could have been prevented or managed in a better manner. The main problem lies in one simple question how to control during those moments of heat. How to control the aggression that the other person is trying to impose?
There are several reasons that one gets angry but the basic reason why one gets angry is that he/she thinks he/she is important. The level of importance varies how the person thinksabout himself but when someone talks or treats in such a way that this level of importance is not compatible with the set level of an individual it hurts. When this hurts the aggression comes out. This is more commonly known as ego.
The other reason is when something doesn’t work as per the individual’s will; he/she tries to put efforts to get the things done. Still if the things don’t go the desired way the other way left is to get it done by aggression i.e. by abusing, shouting, fighting etc. This reason is a result of the above mentioned reason of importance.
To understand the reason was important as when the basic problems are known it is easy to find the solutions. There are many suggestions by the experts in the market however some of the best experienced are: -
1) What if someone shouted or raised voice?Did it change the physical appearance or the market value? Think deeply. The things remain the same. Getting angry very often makes the things worse rather than improving the situation.
2) Think as if the other one is a fool or is a kid or mad. These three categories are always forgiven. Even when a mad person abuses or a kid pulls the moustache of a king, they are never or seldom punished.
3) Try to divert the topic or leave the place. It was written somewhere that Adolf Hitler had a rule in his court that two people if had a dispute should come a few hours later or a day later (I don’t remember what exact time was written there).
The reason is simple. A person loses his ability to think once angry. He can think only when he cools down. Try to avoid the situation or try to leave the place if the aggression starts to build up.
4) Develop the listening abilities. It is a technique that rarely fails. When angry the person wants that the others should listen to them. If listened they get the desired importance they were seeking from the others. Once they are done with what they had to say, they may be easily handled.